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Joke of the Day
"Saying that you were touched by Jesus... ...is a completely different story in a Mexican prison."
Next Joke
"Why did the computer freeze? It got frostbyte."
"I like to stand near people on gluten-free diets and eat as much gluten as I can and say things like ""Mmmm, sweet gluten."""
"Summer body wasn't ready.. But winter body is good to go!"
"""Just how serious are you about keeping me as a customer?"" *slides hand across table to take a second promotional pen"
"*painting your nails* one hand : perfect. other hand : looks like a blind cat did it."
"What is the difference between a computer and Paul Walker? I give a shit when my computer crashes."
"One time a cute guy I liked mooned his friend as a prank but there was a tiny piece of toilet paper in his crack & it haunts me to this day"
"Girl: My dog bit my boyfriend. Me: Your dog is a good judge of character."
"""Nurse, I need 10 cc's of fluid, a scalpel and 100+ retweets about this kid from a celebrity on Twitter. STAT!"" - 2013 doctor"