42195

Joke of the Day

"Whenever somebody asks me what my hobby is, there is a long uncomfortable pause and then I back away until I can't see them anymore."

"Why couldn't the coal worker get into the movie? He was a miner."

"What does a cell that's full of shit do? Lyse."

"Everyone should learn sign language It's very handy"

"Why do black people like basketball? Because it invovles running, shooting, and stealing."

"Guy: ""Do you have a lighter?"" Me: ""Yep"" Guy: ""You smoke?"" Me: ""No, you just never know when you're gonna need to light someone on fire."""

"(Warning - Shitty Pun) What do you call a mentally-deficient louse? A *Retardigrade* &nbsp; I'll see myself out now."

"I love how the Ninja Turtles wear masks to hide their identity. It's not like you're a giant turtle or anything."

"Did you hear about the man who bought a dolphin? He didn't want to live life without a porpoise!"

"If Jesus was a cat we'd have nine Easters."