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Joke of the Day

"Why don't Jews eat pussy? Because its too close to the gas chamber!"

"I can't wait to start blaming the GOP for everything wrong in America not being magically fixed upon their election to office."

"Q: What did the finger say to the thumb? A: I'm in glove with you."

"The two most horrific words on the internet are ""Begin Slideshow."""

"Sorry I missed your facebook event, I was super busy not considering you a friend."

"Anybody else miss a time when if you REALLY wanted to show a pop idol you loved them, you assassinated them? (ATTN Bieber fans)"

"God I hate kids. And people. And animals. And sardines. And stuff that's alive. And stuff that's dead. I hate stuff. I like cheese."

"What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, it's white and it's Asian."

"I really enjoy banging Asian babes, but.... every time I look down to check out the action, my dick is pixelated!"

"Lost my watch at a party... Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl. ^not ^^on ^^^my ^^^^watch."