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Joke of the Day

"Sorry I missed your facebook event, I was super busy not considering you a friend."

"Congratulations USA We have officially gone black and gone back."

"Why shouldn't you use red, white, and blue paint in a watercolor? Because these colors don't run"

"At first I didn't like my new haircut But it's starting to grow on me"

"What do you call your creepy Jewish neighbor? Diddler on the roof."

"where did Marry go after the explosion? everywhere"

"Five Guys isn't the same when only 3 of them are working."

"I just put BOTH my legs into one pajama pant leg...making me a MERMAID!"

"Does anybody want this last piece of rain forest?"

"As advertised I opened a can of evaporated milk today. It was empty."