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Joke of the Day

"I really enjoy banging Asian babes, but.... every time I look down to check out the action, my dick is pixelated!"

"My loose coins falls on the floor of my bedroom daily, often without my knowing. It just sits there for weeks sometimes until I pick it up. I guess you could say I have a hard time handling change."

"What is green sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together ? Chimney Cricket !"

"Fun Octopus Facts When a male octopus finds a mate, he rips off his dick and throws it at the female, so she can inseminate herself. He then grows a new dick. What a legend. ""Here, go fuck yourself."""

"A priest, a rapist and a pedophile walk into a bar... He orders a drink."

"If I can pick up your dog with one hand, congratulations you own a cat."

"(Sigh) I thought ""The Scarlet Letter"" was a book about red stationery...."

"A man goes to a doctors office Patient: I have been having a lot of pain in my ear Female doctor: Sir, I think you have an ear infection. Patient: But u havn't even looked at my penis"

"1) Lick tip. 2) Stick it in gently. 3) Pump 12-20 times. 4) Sweat profusely. 5) Pull out gently. -Instructions on inflating a basketball."

"It's claimed Macaulay Culkin's health problems are linked to a difficult childhood. No sh1t. His parents forgot to take him on holiday 4 times"