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Joke of the Day

"God I hate kids. And people. And animals. And sardines. And stuff that's alive. And stuff that's dead. I hate stuff. I like cheese."

"Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way, but his food will become a pizza history."

"Choose a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life, because you'll never get that job."

"Even the most racially sensitive person you know gets a little skeptical when the chef at a Chinese restaurant isn't Asian"

"Going Straight to Hell Q: How to Ethiopians celebrate their child's first birthday? A: They place flowers on the grave."

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, but they stay for the intelligent discourse about Benghazi"

"Mirror salesman... Now there is a job I could see myself doing."

"I just put BOTH my legs into one pajama pant leg...making me a MERMAID!"

"What does it look like when someone is drowning? lol"

"What do you call five black people having sex? A threesome"