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Joke of the Day

"*running from cops* Me: hey wait hold up if we're gonna do this i really should be wearing my fitbit Cop: yeah me too good idea"

"So a radio talks to another radio Over."

"How are skunks able to avoid danger? By using their instinks and common scents!"

"I found girl lying on railroad tracks. I untied her, took her into bushes and we had great sex. No head, though. I never found it."

"How do you process a queue of table delete requests for an asynchronous database? Pop, Lock & Drop It"

"A black man walks into a bar ""Can you imagine that nigga's face when the judge believes my testimony?"" - a policeman told his friend"

"the hardest part about hitting a child in public... is avoiding getting caught by their parent's."

"Two rules I live by #1 Never Take No for an Answer #2 No means No"

"My wife was having an affair... I was devastated. But, by turning to religion I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam and we're stoning her in the morning."

"They say a mind is a terrible thing to waste. You have nothing to worry about."