41903

Joke of the Day

"I drink to forget that I accidentally once said ""I love you"" when ending a call with a customer service rep."

"A priest with a lisp offered to bring a roamin' Catholic to Paris ... The Catholic, bread in hand, was not impressed."

"I'm having car trouble. I can't afford to put gas in it."

"Did you hear that the DMV is going make all stop signs bilingual for Spanish Speakers in 2014? It's not going to be too expensive, though, all they have to do is add the ""e"" to the front."

"(Spoiler) TIL in The Revnant Leonardo DiCaprio's sleep number is one dead Indian son."

"Me: Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your family! Dishonor on your house! Olive Garden server: Please stop! I'll bring more cheese to grate!"

"One of my great-grandparents believed in God, but the other seven didn't Which makes me an eighth theist"

"Q: Who would become President of the U.S.A if the President died? A: Bill Clinton of course!"

"Are you Greek (If No) are you sure cause you look like a goddess to me?"

"Just one, actually. How many scientists does it take to build a time machine?"