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Joke of the Day

"One of the lights in my bathroom is out. I look at least ten years younger."

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"-What are you drinking, son? -Soy milk. -Hola milk, soy tu padre. Edit : Removed the ""es"" that was bothering everyone"
"I have a punchline with no joke. Help me out guys. Herpules and plaugasus..."
"Backache Darren This is a joke I wrote before I discovered reddit. I shall link to it thusly: http://vulpes-aurum.deviantart.com/art/Backache-Darren-149248532"
"What's Isis' favorite race? The 100-meter daesh. Q: What's Isis' favorite punctuation mark? A: The em-daesh. Q: How much cinnamon does the Isis recipe for gingersnaps call for? A: Just a daesh."
"Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank? He was drinking on the job."
"Next time a skinny bitch calls herself fat... I'm gonna agree with her."
"why girls prefer iphones.... because they are use to its type of Aspect ratio :D"
"Sorry girl, you knew you were dating a bad boy *saves used gift bag because those things are expensive*"
"Does anyone want a free microwave? Contact me. We can talk about how we both want a free microwave"