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Joke of the Day

"Backache Darren This is a joke I wrote before I discovered reddit. I shall link to it thusly: http://vulpes-aurum.deviantart.com/art/Backache-Darren-149248532"

"A masochist asks a sadist ""Please hurt me."" ""No,"" replies the sadist."

"My grandfather told me that during the war he was exposed to irritants like pepper spray and mustard gas. Now he's a seasoned vet."

"How many Norwegians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 7"

"What is donald trumps biggest fear? Mexican ghosts that can walk through walls"

"NASA spent 1.5mil on a pen that works in space. Russia putin a pencil."

"If 4 people having sex is a foursome.... 3 people having sex is a threesome... And 2 people having sex is a twosome... Does that make me handsome?"

"""What makes you think you can criticise American gun laws, sitting over there in the UK?"" I was asked on an internet forum. ""Because you're not allowed to take them on planes,"" I answered."

"I was going through a few magazines at a Pride parade the other day I was really enjoying it, but then the weapon jammed."

"Why is Santa always so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live."