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Joke of the Day

"The accountant's prayer: Lord help me be more relaxed about insignificant details starting tomorrow at 10.53:16 am Eastern Daylight Saving Time."

"Why does Lichtenstien never lose a race? Because nothing is faster then Liecht!"

"Life Hack: In any hipster coffee shop, say ""You haven't seen The Wire?"" and in the ensuing commotion, leave without paying."

"Males ejaculate at 27 mph. That explains why its illegal to do it in a school zone."

"Did you know your amazing human body actually drink lava!?! Only once though....."

"""Uno, dos..."" And just like that, the Spanish magician was gone without a tres."

"What's a pirate's favourite amino acid? Arrrginine"

"How do you call a dog that likes to be on the Internet? A Labragoogle."

"Just saw a man crying because he doesn't know what a homophone is To comfort him I sat next to him, patted his back and said, ""They're, their, there..."""

"Alrighty Kids always remember: you are what you eat So eat loads of sweets and pass on those vegetables"