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Joke of the Day

"Alrighty Kids always remember: you are what you eat So eat loads of sweets and pass on those vegetables"

"What do you call someone who can't find a job? A Psych major. (Pls list your own response - if you're awake and in America at this time, you should have a pretty good one). Thanks."

"fooling around I was sucking off this bird last night when I thought, ""Wait a minute..."""

"Personal trainer said we're going to try some dips today. I brought hot salsa and tangy cheese. He hates me."

"[phone rings] ""Mr Hughes?"" ""Yeah."" ""We need u to come pick yr son up from school."" ""Ugh. Whats he done now?"" ""Nothing. Its nearly midnight."""

"I only eat free range chicken because I only eat food that was given the illusion of freedom before it was murdered"

"I am Ahmed Mohamed AMA! Wow that blew up fast!"

"Someone die? Time to get high! Come on down to Barry's Death Emporium where we put the FUN in funeral and the RAVE in grave! (BYO shovel)"

"If I find myself at Paula Deen's house, I'll be sure to stay out of the kitchen. There's an oven in there. Jews in Stews #paulasbestdishes"

"""Is there really a fire? Prove it."" -Mrs. Doubtfire"