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Joke of the Day

"I'm trying to ignore the subway mariachi band that's ruining my commute, but I should have refused to carpool with them in the first place."

"We live in a world where we have to hide to make love, while violence is practiced in broad daylight."

"If I come to your house and you say ""make yourself at home"", don't get mad when I take my pants off and drink your beer."

"""Guess what!"" ""What?"" ""I went clubbing and did the Bus Driver last night!"" ""Oh I love that dance move!"" ""It's a dance move?"""

"What's the difference between a Hummer and a cactus? A cactus has all the pricks on the outside."

"I love people who can make me laugh, when I don't even want to smile."

"What did the blonde name her pet Zebra? Spot"

"Asked to switch seats. I wanted to switch seats on the plane last week because of a crying baby. The stewardess said no... just because it was my baby"

"sexy night My wife started to do a striptease just for me. She asked me what should go out first. The light."

"Boss: You're late! On Friday, I made it clear that anyone arriving late would be fired Me: Well I didn't know! I ducked out early on Friday"