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Joke of the Day

"We live in a world where we have to hide to make love, while violence is practiced in broad daylight."

"I hate when I toss some cold pizza in the microwave, check Twitter real quick and when I come back I've missed 3 mortgage payments."

"What did the ocean said to the river when they parted ways ? Nothing, he was just full of tears"

"Waiter there is a dead fly in my soup ! No its not it's a piece of dirt that looks like one !"

"A good way to start a conversation is 'What's your favorite color'. A good way to end a conversation is What's your favourite colour of a person."

"How to rid yourself of geeks [**star wars spoilers**] thats how"

"I Like My Coffee Like I Like My Girls Without a penis"

"Abacus Just received my new Chinese abacus. It's poorly made. I can't count on it"

"Donald Trump, George Zimmerman, and DJ Khaled walk into a bar. Said bar is immediately shut down; State law bans brothels and with three massive attention whores in one room they kinda have no choice."

"What do you call and Irishman who works in a French cafe? Paddy Hor D'oeuvre"