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Joke of the Day
"For once in my life, I'd like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my penis."
Next Joke
"What do you call a line of hundreds of rabbits, moving backwards slowly? A receding hareline"
"What did the blind man say when he sipped a frozen drink and was cured? ""Icee."""
"Remember, I'm always here if you need shoulders for your ankles to lie on."
"What does Santa do to dragons? He ""sleighs"" them."
"Joke from a 5 year old kid: how come dinosaurs don't talk? me: ...why? kid: because they are all dead. source: stolen from Brian Reagan's standup."
"Just spent $243.57 at the grocery store so the check out girl didn't think I was just buying KY and condoms."
"Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day; Teach a man to fish, and a month later he dies of scurvy."
"[walking quickly past the old lady I just held the door open for] this doesn't mean you can order before me"
"To where going Batman running fast? To the Bathroom"