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Joke of the Day

"Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day; Teach a man to fish, and a month later he dies of scurvy."

"What do you call an overweight Scott Walker? Scott Waddler"

"What is the difference between reindeer and caribou? Reindeer are the ones that fly."

"Child: ""Mom! Mom! The dog is having it off and is f*cking!"" Mom: ""Yeah, then don't look!"" --- ___ --- ___ --- | --- ___ --- 20 seconds later the Child: ""But it hurts..."""

"Did you hear about the woman with guns for tits? She was pretty Barrel-Chested."

"Airbags should deploy in the form of balloon animals. Sure, you've been in an accident, but now you have a whimsical puppy dog."

"How to leave someone on the edge of their seat:"

"got a meat lover's pizza with the Works: freckles, man curds, leeches, clam clits, jowls, blood clots, charred nuggets, gristle, Megan"

"I'm a firm believer in the phrase ""If you want something done right, do it yourself"" That's why I masturbate."

"The human body can survive 28 days without food, but only 11 minutes without Internet."