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Joke of the Day

"Just spent $243.57 at the grocery store so the check out girl didn't think I was just buying KY and condoms."

"Yo mamma's so fat she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones."

"Q: What did the blonde customer say after reading the buxom waitress's name tag? A: ""What did you name the other one?"""

"How can you tell your boyfriend has gained weight? You fit into his clothes."

"Orange Jews. It's very hacidic."

"*on first date* Did you know that wool sweaters are the closest you can legally come to being inside a sheep?"

"I think I could make a pretty decent living as one of those people in infomercials who have immense difficulty performing everyday tasks."

"This sub has taken a dive recently I guess I should put my phone in rice to try and dry it out."

"What do you call it when a sheep sells his wool for money? Cashearing! (Joke I made up last night at work, so be gentle with me)"

"How do you make a glow worm happy ? Cut off his tail he'll be de-lighted !"