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Joke of the Day

"No I don't think you're stupid, I just think you have real bad luck when it comes to thinking"

"If I actually said how I was doing when people asked me, no one would ask me how I was doing ever again."

"So Decartes goes to a restaurant for dinner... After enjoying his meal, the waiter asks Descartes if he would like any dessert. Politely, he responds, ""I think not,"" then immediately disappears."

"What's the worst question you can ask a blind date? ""So.. you seeing anyone?"""

"Why did Hitler commit suicide? He got his gas bill"

"I used to have a problem choking on my food all the time Now I only eat cheerios and life savers"

"An ISIS attack wouldn't do any damage to Chicago What's one more pot hole?"

"Coworker: I couldn't sleep. Just thinking all night Me: Maybe try doing some of that here in the office during the day"

"What did the Hispanic security guard drink at the airport... Tea Ese."

"Surreal, wtf, insane Repost: Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks. lolwut Any similar?"