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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I'll show my husband the chewed up food in my mouth just so he's reminded of the delicacy and beauty of the flower he chose."

"You'd think that people who kept their head warm would tend to be healthier... but as it turns out, people who wear turbans are actually more likely to be Sikh"

"For someone with a penis, wearing skinny jeans is a lot like living in a cheap mansion... There's no ballroom."

"What does a nosy pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!"

"My wife keeps complaining about her nine to five job I must admit, 4:51 is a strange time to start work"

"What does Ukraine have in common with the iPhone 7? They both suffered the loss of one very important port."

"What is a fat kids' favourite sounding instrument at school? The dinner bell."

"""I found some shit in your room...No, I found actual shit. Feces...Well I should hope it's from your shoes, otherwise what the fuck?"""

"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna go ride bikes? My all time favorite joke. Sorry if it has already been posted but who has the time to browse all of r/jokes."

"I hate when the urinal auto-flushes while I'm still using it. Did I just cease to exist? Am I back now? If not, where am I peeing?"