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Joke of the Day

"Hey Dads who think that being home with the kids alone is called ""babysitting"". You're wrong. It's called ""parenting"". Not the same."

"Last week, I went to a convention of Women without legs. The place was literally crawling with pussies. (Heard Willie Nelson tell it)."

"People who believe in aliens are such freaking idiots. I'll tweet more about it when I get back from my Bigfoot hunt tonight."

"Hey girl, are you a 10? Because you're basic..."

"""I'm so self-conscious"" ""I'm a very private person"" ""I'm the shyest person I know"" *posts 43 selfies a week* - girls on Instagram"

"I couldn't imagine my parents having sex So last night I hid in their closet and watched"

"So I went to my first gym today Brock was pretty hard."

"McDonald's uses canola oil, Five Guys uses peanut oil, and Taco Bell uses... castor oil"

"How do you know your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit."

"want to hear my limousine joke na its too long"