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Joke of the Day

"People who believe in aliens are such freaking idiots. I'll tweet more about it when I get back from my Bigfoot hunt tonight."

"What do Hillary Clinton and OJ Simpson have in common? They got away with it."

"Guys, check out this cool trick I learned. Take your upper lip and make it touch your lower lip. Now keep them like that."

"""Y'ever wonder why the TARDIS is square on the outside but round on the inside?"" *SuperCuts lady finishes my haircut without another word*"

"Jokes about the blind aren't funny. Can't people see that?"

"Hitlers Joke My dog has no nose. Well how does it smell? Awful."

"Why was the drug dealer late? Because he tripped"

"Know what her cervix and a plate glass patio door have in common They both make her eyes light up when you run into them."

"A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel around his waist... Bartender says ""Hey man, you have a steering wheel around your waist!? The Pirate replies ""Yeah I know... It's drivin me nuts!""."

"Greatest days of my life: 3) Day I got married 2) Day my first kid was born 1) Day Facebook let you turn off notifications for their games"