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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the calendar thief? He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered!"

"Did you hear about the new pop singer that has giant nipples? Her name is Areola Grande."

"Dark humour is like dead children.. - it never gets old."

"What did the carpet say to the floor? Don't move -- I've got you covered."

"[Water cooler] -Looks like you had a wild weekend! How'd you get the scratches? *flash back to me bathing my cat* -Uh, this chick bro. Yeah."

"What's an Alzheimer patient's favorite horror movie? The Blair...Which project? [Made my roomie laugh at least]"

"The ""self-lubricated catheter"" and the ""discreet pocket catheter"" have me rethinking what role catheters ought to be playing in my life."

"What's the difference between dog food and a hot dog? I have no idea..."

"Parents: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? Parents: Mom and dad. Me: Mom and dad who? Parents: Exactly, you're adopted son. ;'("

"[me trying to do magic] Is this your card? ""No"" Is THIS your card? ""Not even close"" What about THIS? ""Trent thats literally a piece of ham"""