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Joke of the Day

"Parents: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? Parents: Mom and dad. Me: Mom and dad who? Parents: Exactly, you're adopted son. ;'("

"Wife was in ICU Doctor: She is in a coma. Husband: Please save her. She's just 30. *Just then, ECG starts beeping. Fingers move. Her lips mumbled... And she spoke: I'm 29"

"What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A small medium at large"

"What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve!"

"Bum at the bus stop, lady walks up with dress up her crack, bum discretely pulls it out, lady slaps him, [hand gesture pushing it back into crack]"

"How do you know your sister's on her period? Your dad's cock tastes like blood."

"Dear whoever ate my fries while I was in the ball pit at McDonald's; Not funny, grow up."

"What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam."

"Why are there no black CIA agents? Because you'd never be able to convince him to help the massive drug smuggling conspiracy that's shipping cocaine into his family's neighborhood."

"The Cleveland Browns Thats it"