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Joke of the Day
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Clare ! Clare who ? Clare your throat before you speak !"
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"My friends keep telling me to stop making jokes about Linkin Park But I just ignore them because in the end, it doesn't even matter"
"How do you console someone with bad Grammar Skills ? There, Their, They're."
"What do you call a pissed-off Founding Father? A Cranky-Doodle-Dandy!"
"Me: hello, police? I think I'm living with a murderer! Last night, she came home with a body... Crap! She just came in. Cat: *meow*"
"Pretty much the only time I WANT to hear about your ex is if she's standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I'm good."
"I recently purchased a teddy bear for 10 And named it Mohammed, then sold it for 20. My question is.....have I made a Prophet?"
"If you get a divorce in Kentucky. . . are you still cousins?"
"What does a bald elephant wear for a toupee? A sheep."
"Ah, I love self-deprecating humor. That's one more thing that won't love me back."