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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a pissed-off Founding Father? A Cranky-Doodle-Dandy!"

"How can you judge how good the orgasm was? From the amount of time it takes you to press Alt-F4 afterwards."

"What do you call funny laboratory equipment? A comical flask."

"Good thing some people show their bare chest in their profile pic, otherwise we wouldn't have known they had a torso."

"There is no ""I"" in ""team."" But there's an ""I"" in ""Tim,"" and my friend Carlos pronounces it ""team"" so....there"

"Blackhawks What is that player's name on the hawks that starts with Johnny. I think I know. Oduya?"

"I'm going to make a calendar of sexy Islamic extremists I will call it, Ji-hotties"

"Malaysia Airlines loses contact with another plane. At least they know where this one is."

"If laziness were an olympic discipline... ... I'd want to finish 4th so I wouldn't have to climb the medals podium..."

"What should female robots NOT come standard with. A sound card..."