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Joke of the Day

"My husband grew a beard and suddenly I'm having to karate chop every woman we pass."

"""I'm so sorry"" and ""my bad"" can be used interchangeably Except at funerals."

"Love's a lot like a bullet in that the exit usually causes the most damage."

"I think we should invest in mosquito nets for Africa We can save millions of mosquitos from needlessly dying of aids"

"I don't know why everyone's complaining about chip card readers. I have bad credit."

"[boxing match] ANNOUNCER: ...and the challenger weighing 8lbs 7oz, Billy ""The Baby"" Sanchez CHAMP: That's a real baby TRAINER: You got this"

"Got pulled over by a cop, asking me if I knew how fast I was going No, I said - the speedometer only goes up to 240 km/h"

"I'm not ashamed to say that when I saw everyone was getting these new ""selfie sticks"" for Xmas I thought it was some new fantastic deodorant"

"What time does the funny stuff start around here? I can come back..."

"Fidel Castro was a Muslim Otherwise he would have been called ""Infidel""."