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Joke of the Day

"I love telling jokes... But I always punch up the fuck line."

"I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said ""Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?"" She said ""No I hate myself now."""

"what did the ranch say to the refrigerator? close the door, I'm dressing!"

"Whats the worst part about sex with children? Cleaning the blood out of the clown costume when you are finished."

"Unfortunately Miley Cyrus broke up with her boyfriend It didn't twerk out"

"ME: who's a good boy!! DOG: did you just misgender me you genderphobic heteronormative piece of shit ME: what DOG: bark"

"Student: What is the chance we are alone in the universe? Professor: Astronomical."

"Super Intelligent Student Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! and I'm going home now."

"My chest hair connected with connected with my armpit My hair is really going places"

"Using a public restroom always reminds me how much better I am at flushing a toilet than a lot of other people."