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Joke of the Day

"what did the ranch say to the refrigerator? close the door, I'm dressing!"

"Did you hear Ben and Jerry are going to bring out a special line of LGBT ice-cream? They're gonna call it Ambrusia."

"Looked up from a text message and thought, ""Oh shit. I'm driving."""

"Human Cannonball Following the tragic death of the human cannonball at the local fair, a spokesman said, ""We'll struggle to get another man of his calibre""."

"Are limericks still in? There once was a genie with a 10 foot wienie so he showed it to the woman next door she thought it was a snake so she hit it with a rake and now it is 5foot 4"

"Toast should never pick a fight with me because I eat toast for breakfast."

"I'd like to thank my exs for encouraging me to learn about cars. Like how to cut the break lines, hoses, or discreetly slash a tire."

"Why do farts smell? ... For the benefit of the deaf!"

"if you want your wife to take you seriously, don't throw your sippy cup during an argument"

"What did the one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing they just waved! Did you sea what I did there? I'm shore you did, beach."