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Joke of the Day

"Why is the Champs-Elysees lined with trees? So the Germans can march in the shade."

"If you never include your body in your selfies, I am forced to assume that you don't have one. Carry on floating head selfie chick."

"Do you have small pox? Because your face looks kind apache!"

"I once threw a fish off of the roof of my house. I guess you could say the bass dropped."

"wassup babe, im the reason Pregnancy-info .net disabled video embedding on their forums, how abuot giving me a nice kiss"

"ME: Do we have Bacon Bits? WIFE: Fridge. Why? ME: *filling pockets* No reason *dog park* PERSON: Sorry. He's normally behaved ME: No prob"

"A man was caught for speeding and went before the judge. The judge said ""What will you take....30 days or $30."" The man replied ""I think I'll take the money."""

"Why is Kim Jong-un so bad? He has no Seoul"

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 11 seconds."

"There are only 2 branches of the military... There are only 2 branches of the American Military: the Army & the Navy The Air Force is a corporation. The Marines are #*?& cult."