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Joke of the Day

"wassup babe, im the reason Pregnancy-info .net disabled video embedding on their forums, how abuot giving me a nice kiss"

"Mechanic: the front shocks are shot. Did you hit a pothole? Me: yes but I winced, patted the dash & said I was sorry so it can't be that."

"My cousin's horoscope was Cancer. Funny how she died... She got eaten by a giant crab"

"I would say Reddit's jokes aren't copy pasted but then again we're all *stuck* down here together in this place"

"I'm proud of this groaner, even if it gets downvoted more than a duck winning an election."

"What kind of money do religious businesses make? Prophet."

"That moment you could pass as an Olympic speed walker because you are racing to the bathroom."

"What do you call the murder of Chickpeas? Houmous-cide."

"Meant to tell my daughter ""Good night, I love you,"" but it came out as ""Thank god you go back to school on Tuesday because this is bullshit"""

"Nickelback walks into a bar...there's no punch line because ruining music isn't funny."