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Joke of the Day

"What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table"

"What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn ? An eggroll !"

"Today, I made the little things count by teaching math to midgets....."

"Which one is closer, Sun or Africa? Teacher: Which one is closer, Sun or Africa? Johnny: Sun Teacher: Why? Johnny: We can see the sun all the time, but can't see Africa."

"Hey girl, did you get your tickets *lips slowly part to reveal a mouthful of tiny little teeth with massive gums* to the GUM show?"

"A Jewish kid asks his Dad: 'Dad, can I have 50 pence please?' The father replies: '40 pence?! what do you want 30 pence for?'"

"Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred? Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat."

"How many Hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hippies screw in dirty sleeping bags!"

"[LPT] When cleaning a messy room start with your bed, you will have a better sense of accomplishment when you eventually give up and sob uncontrollably."

"Why did the aliens choose to not invade and enslave the human race? Because they're not garbage collectors."