207217

Joke of the Day

"What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table"

"Is it that you think I can't eat this rotisserie chicken with my bare hands while driving 75 mph, or that I won't? Either way, you're wrong."

"[mastercard commercial] ""there are some things that money can't buy"" politician: i don't get it"

"My friend told me to stop singing Wonderwall... ...I said maybe."

"Got a big audition coming up that requires me to tell a good school appropriate joke. I have plenty of jokes, none of them school appropriate. I thought I'd come here for help."

"What are the two main differences between a Chihuahua and a German shepherd? 1. Spelling 2. Pronunciation"

"Why did the libertarian chicken cross the road? None of your damned business! Am I being detained, officer?"

"What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree? Camembert!"

"""Captain, have you ever made love at sea?"" ""No son, but I've been blown ashore many a time."""

"I'm considering becoming a mind reader. What are your thoughts?"