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Joke of the Day

"Robber: Give me all your money.Otherwise you are chemistry! ME: Don't you mean history? R: Don't change the subject! *Both start laughing"

"Why does a blonde girl have a bruised belly button? She has a blonde boyfriend."

"How do you make a Scottish omelette?"

"I always pictured Madonna playing The Invisible Woman in those Fantastic Four films... ...she would've made a great Immaterial Girl."

"A joke my 4 year old came up with today... Him: ""What's the only mammal that can breathe under water?"" Me: ""I dunno, what?"" Him (loudly): ""An elephant sticking his trunk up!"""

"Q: Did you hear Chrysler is introducing a new car to commemorate President Clinton's election? A: It's gonna be called the Dodge Drafter!"

"Time to get out of bed and worry from another location."

"Dilemma: Your daughter brings home a guy with an Insane Clown Posse t-shirt on but your garden is already completely full of corpses."

"I'm never buying clothes for my kids again Dang baby goats just eat everything!"

"I had no idea we were millionaires until I just saw my husband casually rip off 3 or 4 paper towels at once."