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Joke of the Day

"Dilemma: Your daughter brings home a guy with an Insane Clown Posse t-shirt on but your garden is already completely full of corpses."

"Someone just threw a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me! I only received super fish oil injuries, but still..."

"Did you hear about the problem at the Indian bread factory? Turns out it was a naan issue."

"Why do elephants have four feet? Because six inches would never satisfy a female elephant."

"Why'd the pervert cross the road? He couldn't pull out of the chicken"

"What's the difference between a Philosophy major and a cashier at KFC? A job application."

"When suffering from insomnia I either count sheep or ask my GF how her day was."

"I heard from a terrorist that they are planning a nine-eleven attack times a thousand... That's right it's gonna be 911,000"

"What did the FLAC say? I'm an audiophile"

"Why do chicken coops only have two doors? (x-post from /r/adviceanimals) Because if they had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!"