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Joke of the Day

"A joke my 4 year old came up with today... Him: ""What's the only mammal that can breathe under water?"" Me: ""I dunno, what?"" Him (loudly): ""An elephant sticking his trunk up!"""

"A police officer goes to investigate an artist's death... His report details it as being ""pretty sketchy."" I'll leave now..."

"Why does Ariel the Mermaid wear seashells? She grew out of her B - shells!"

"How do you keep someone waiting I'll post the answer tomorrow"

"How do you know if you have an underbite? When your eating pussy and it tastes like shit"

"I've been single so long I deserve a bachelors degree"

"If you're happy and you know it, thank your ex."

"Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow."

"If guns don't kill people.... If guns don't kill people, people kill people, then toasters don't toast toast. Toast toasts toast."

"Being early to work is a dead giveaway that I'm still asleep and having a bad dream."