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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a Mexican who likes little kids? A pedrophile."
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"My girlfriend says she's leaving me because I'm too skeptical. But I don't believe her."
"I could tell it was a Monopoly board from the word Go"
"You can make fun of Kim and Kanye's kid all you want... But that kid is going nowhere but up... And slightly to the left."
"I spotted a subtweet and also spotted a squirrel with a juice box... I'll let you guess which one had a greater impact on my life."
"TIL After years of research, scientists have positively concluded that the most effective way to make your penis bigger is using a magnifying glass"
"Why is it hard for men to understand women? Because you have to study abroad to understand them."
"Getting a text from someone when I'm trying to tweet is the emotional equivalent to walking into a spider web."
"When is your birthday? 17th January. What year? Every year!"
"How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his mother in the jaw."