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Joke of the Day

"Anal Sex is a lot like your first car You don't really want it but your step Dad gives it to you anyways."

"How do you make Holy Water? Boil the Hell out of it!"

"Why don't kleptomaniacs get puns? Because they always take things literally."

"How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? Swan"

"While walking home from the gym... I saw one of my aerospace engineer buddies at Starbucks. He was buried in his work when I walked next to him and asked, ""bruh, do you even lift?"""

"Has anyone tried giving bees heroin? I feel like bees on heroin would produce better honey. It's probably not true, but it's just how I feel"

"how do you know when you are in love? When she taps you on the ass and says ""Its in *Love*"" **Taxi**"

"Enrage the one you love today with a calm, rational explanation."

"What app do nervous ppl order on dates? Chicken Tinders."

"[getting escorted out of zoo] ""I just wanted to see if the panda knew kung fu like in the movie"""