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Joke of the Day

"Girls say they want a guy who is funny and spontaneous but when I tap on the window at night dressed as a clown it's all panic and screaming"

"How does an octopus go to war? Well-Armed"

"Butterfly I saw a butterfly with no wings today. I poured some Red Bull on it and BAM... it drowned"

"If Hillary Clinton wins the election I am moving to Benghazi. At lest I know she will leave me alone there."

"It's the 21st century, people. Why in the world do we still have mornings?"

"Why do elephants paint their balls red? So they can hide in apple trees. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? A giraffe eating apples."

"Just hired a cat sitter to sit on my cat."

"Mommy! The boys at school pay me to climb trees! ""Honey, they only want you to do that so they can see your panties!"" Yeah, I know, that's why I take them off."

"What does a blonde woman is doing with her ear bonded to the wall ? Listening *house*."

"Hello it's 911, what's your emergency?"" ""Two boys are fighting over me"" What is the problem with it? ""The ugly one is winning."""