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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me she's ""spotting"" and I'm like yeah right for who? You can't even bench 50 Lbs lol"

"He died doing what he loved, surprising tigers."

"Yeah, so, I don't usually argue with people who I can remove from my life by pressing a button....."

"My Grandpa said, ""Your generation relies too much on technology!"" I replied, ""No, your generation relies too much on technology!"" Then I unplugged his life support"

"What do you call a hump-backed cow that always wants to be the center of attention? A drama-dairy."

"You know what they say about men who wear dress shoes... They have no soles."

"Fe Fi Fo Fum Rhyme scheme tweets are kinda dumb"

"A photon walks into a hotel. The bellhop asks if he needs help with his bags. The photon says, ""no, I'm travelling light. """

"An elder man is annoyingly telling a chef how to BBQ. Then the chef says ""you want us to switch positions? You come cook and I go and fuck off"""

"Yo mama so fat. . . I swerved my car to avoid hitting her and ran out of gas. Edit: TIL Reddit has very strong feelings about my mother."