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Joke of the Day

"FOX News is a Mecca for people who hate Mecca."

"I accidentally swallowed some thread a few days ago, and passed it out today. I shit you knot."

"I'd kill a man to have my pillow always cool on one side."

"Never trust your kids. You know who their parents are."

"There's a reason why baseball is America's favorite pastime. It's way past it's time of being relevant."

"Unbelievable! Just checked the roster and I've got to work Christmas Eve from midnight. If it wasn't for all the free wine and altar boys I'd seriously jack-in this 'priest' malarkey."

"A Halloween Limerick A lady vampire named Mable Had a period that was awfully stable. So once a full moon She took out her spoon And drank herself under the table."

"Al-gebra is a mysterious organization. There are lots of unknowns..."

"""Dad, I'm suicidal."" ""Hi suicidal, I'm dad."""

"How'd the monkey fall out of the tree. He was dead. How'd the next second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey! How'd the Third monkey fall out of the tree. Peer Pressure."