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Joke of the Day

"I'd kill a man to have my pillow always cool on one side."

"sorry ladies, just changed my Facebook relationship status from ""Single"" to ""Costco Member"""

"Evening News is where they begin with 'Good Evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't."

"What's the square root of 69? It's 8 something right?"

"So a staircase said something to me the other day... Actually I lied, it just stared at me."

"About a month before he died, my grandmother covered my grandfather's back with lard. After that, he went downhill very quickly."

"Why couldn't the boy look at the Milky Way? He was galactose intolerant."

"What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. . What do you call nuts on a chest? . Chestnuts. . What do you call nuts on a chin? . A blowjob."

"A girl phoned me the other day and said ""Come on over, there's nobody home."" I went over. Nobody was home."

"I lost twenty pounds by making sure that three times a week I get a good hour of doing crystal meth"