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Joke of the Day
"I bought a timeshare on a racehorse. It's a nightmare."
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"""But what about all the Positive Nancys?"" ~ a Nancy, complaining like usual"
"Why are radios cheaper in Scotland? Because the boxes are battered and and the speakers are fried."
"Hipster James Bond Movie - Oddjob uses a Fedora as a deadly throwing hat."
"What's orange and sounds like a carrot!!!???? A snowman blowing his nose!!!!!!!!"
"It's so cool how avocados take forever to get ripe then they're ripe for about 15 minutes then they're rotten then I kill all these hostages"
"*tries to quietly eat carrot sticks during your funeral*"
"how do you organize a party in space? you planet."
"The only two things I hate are Racism and The Portuguese"
"What do you get if you cross a gardener with a banker? A box hedge fund!"