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Joke of the Day
"I never shower. No hobo."
Next Joke
"The legal system is like bleach, Works perfectly for whites, but not with colors."
"just found out i like being called sugar butt. 35 years of feminism down the fuckin drain."
"[pulling the casket a few inches away from the wall during a funeral] sorry just need to plug in my phone for a minute"
"Why did the movie critic give the movie he received on a burned disc a 3.14/5? Because it was pi-rated."
"How to bargain with your wife Me: Can I get a motorcycle? Wife: No. Me: Can. I get a boat? Wife: NO! Me: Can I get a blowjob? Wife: (sighs) Is it a BIG boat?"
"Why is Italy shaped like a boot? Well, can't fit that much shit in a sneaker!"
"Why are Ford cars so popular? Because they are affordable."
"What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short."
"I got sacked as a tour guide in Vatican City. As I was talking about the pope, we turned a corner and I said, ""Ah, speak of the devil""."