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Joke of the Day

"1995: the information superhighway will mean anyone can do anything from anywhere 2015: must be willing to relocate to San Francisco"

"How to end world hunger ? By letting the hungry die."

"I'm surprised Trump ran as a Republican I thought he was running as a joke"

"How long does it take a satellite to reach Uranus? Bend over and I'll show you."

"I wanted to bake a cake from scratch, but I'm out of scratch."

"What kind of country do we live in when an artist like Sia won't take advantage of the freedom to change her last name to Lateralligator?"

"Strawberries are like porn stars. They both have the seed on the outside."

"A black lady named Betty walks into a butcher shop that's always running out of things and ask for some beef The butcher replies ""No black Betty, ham or lamb?"""

"[job interview] What's ur greatest strength? ""I wear too much cologne"" No, I mean- ""A lady legit passed out when I got in the elevator"""

"Just because I don't talk to you, or text you first, doesn't mean I don't miss you. I'm just waiting for you to miss me."