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Joke of the Day

"My 6 year old found the duct tape and now nothing in my house moves."

"I'm not scared I'll end up in an asylum after a breakdown. I'm scared someone will record it on their phone and I'll end up on a GIF."

"How did the Hulk feel after trying to lift Mjolnir? He felt Thor."

"What is made of wood and sticky? ...a Stick!"

"I've got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I'm stressing about for absolutely no logical reason."

"If you've never tried to use ""the force"" to get a an out-of-reach remote control, you're probably not as lazy as me."

"So as a society we will forever argue and debate over religion and political beliefs yet we freely accept that Mr. Rogers can speak trolley?"

"How did the man get the woman into the pool club? He snooker in!"

"What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dictator."

"I heard Cobras dance to music. I played some Justin Bieber for my pet Cobra and he bit himself and died."