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Joke of the Day

"I hit some kid riding a skateboard today, on the way to work. On a lighter note, I'm selling a lightly used skateboard."

"Air and sex Q: Why is air a lot like sex? A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."

"I wouldn't want lesbian parents. Not because I'm homophobic. I just don't want to get stuck in an endless loop of ""Go ask your mother."""

"I'm going to propose with a mood ring so I can easily see a measurement of how excited she really is."

"If a girl stabbed me on our first date, how many days should I wait to ask her out again?"

"Whats the difference between a hormone and an enzyme? You can't hear an enzyme"

"Alanis Morissette sings about having 10,000 spoons when all she needs is a knife. And nobody asks why she has 10,000 spoons?"

"NO...I don't ""make plans"" because plans suggest INTENT... ...which is typically the distinction between second & first degree convictions."

"What do you call a writer who feels like they've been born in the wrong body Transcribe"

"Your mother is such a whore... Groupon is sending me discount rates."