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Joke of the Day

"NO...I don't ""make plans"" because plans suggest INTENT... ...which is typically the distinction between second & first degree convictions."

"You know you are out of luck.. You know you are out of luck, when you ass-fuck your GF and still end up with a kid !"

"1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance - My stages of getting ready for work"

"I saw a guy with a belt made out of wrist watches. Thought it was a pretty cool waist of time."

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no eye deer. (said with redneck twang)"

"A lot of people look at Russian roulette as a negative game, but statistically it's actually one of the only games you can't lose twice"

"My friends call me Superman, not because I help people, its because I wear the same clothes everyday"

"Why do fencers have the most karma on this sub? They are skilled at riposting good content"

"What is a long, tiresome speech delivered by a frothy pie topping? Meringue-harangue"

"Yes I wore a $900 fuchsia southern belle dress to your kid's baptism. When I was your bridesmaid, you said I could always wear it again."