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Joke of the Day

"The difference between Julius Caesar and a Rapist? Caesar came, saw, and conquered, a rapist saw, conquered and came."

"I looked into my partner's eyes and said to the priest, ""I do."" If nobody else was going to object to the marriage, then I guess I had to."

"Roses are red, Roses are blue, Roses are white, Genetics."

"What sport do Japanese people watch? Desuball"

"People ask me where I see myself in 5 years. I don't know. I don't have 2020 vision."

"Don't forget to get offended today by some retarded shit that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever."

"Why is the Old Testament down on gays? Because the Phyllistines were always making war on the Israelites."

"So the trick to getting my Dog to swallow Semen.. ..is coming on a treat."

"They found horse meat in food in the U.K. ... ... and horse piss in the beer in the U.S."

"How can you go broke making Twinkies when two states just legalized marijuana?"