4086

Joke of the Day

"I am 99% sure USA's Student's t is 2.576. Because America got an infinite degree of freedom."

"School day Son: I can't go to school today. Father: Why not? Son: I don't feel well Father: Where don't you feel well? Son: In school!"

"Why is oral sex with your wife like being interviewed by the police? One slip of the tongue and your in the shit."

"What do you get if you cross a vampire and a mummy ? Something you wouldn't want to unwrap !"

"As a child Moses auditioned for his school play but he didn't get the part. Ironic."

"People usually say I make bad jokes. I tell them I'm not their parents."

"What do you call a bird that flies over a baseball stadium? A fowl !"

"Damn, girl are you Twitter? Because I can't stop staring at you and saying stupid things."

"Every time I survive a sneeze while driving on the freeway it feels like I jumped out of a plane w/out a chute and lived."

"Her: I bet you forgot it. Him: I have a photographic memory. [shakes violently] Her: ? Him: Sorry, it's a Polaroid. Is it Becky? Her: NO"