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Joke of the Day

"When a teacher closes his eyes why should it remind him of an empty classroom? Because there are no pupils to see!"

"You may say the glass is half full or half empty. I say fill the rest of my damn cup!"

"My wd-40 can rusted. It was irony."

"I'm too fat to be a hipster. I'm thinking of becoming a Heapster instead."

"What is Mozart doing right now? *Decomposing*"

"Teacher : Do you know the reason Manchester United lost to Arsenal ? Student : Manchester United lost because their defenders were Young, Small and Blind"

"I didn't know when your wedding was because you spelled out the date and time like a goddamn medieval sorcerer."

"How did Hitler tie his shoes? In little nazis. Oldie but still good."

"Two fish were in a tank.. one turned back and said to another..""How do you drive this thing?"""

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!"