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Joke of the Day

"What goes on forever with no head? A loveless marriage."

"How do you make God laugh? Tell him your plans."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alda ! Alda who ? Alda time you knew who it was !"

"I just checked to see if I had any post, and on the floor in front of the letterbox is an envelope that says ""Do not bend""... How am I supposed to pick it up?"

"What does Michael Jackson and Santa Clause have in common? They both like to come down your shoot."

"While they're a lot of fun on Halloween, did you know most jack-o'-lanterns end up at the pound? Please. Next year, carve a puppy."

"How can you be so sad when you are so beautiful?"

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year."

"I've never once used the ""C word"" in a tweet but I will now!!!! Cookie. There, happy now? You c**ts."

"Fishing There is a fine line between fishing, and just standing on the shore looking like an idiot"